Due to the unhealthy dynamics in our relationship, my partner and I signed up for the AEQ program Improving Partnership Relationships to become more aware and understand why things are the way they are, so we could know what and how to change within the relationship.
The program is fantastic—from Aleš’s explanations on emotional maturity to the exercises we practiced. Through short lectures, Aleš presented information using various examples. I admit, they touched me. My partner as well. And later, my body confirmed it through the exercises. I was generally tense on the right side of my body, too much in the masculine principle. During breathing exercises, it became clear that my exhalation was longer than my inhalation. Through the exercises, I became aware that I have SMA and SMI.
As the program progressed, I increasingly began to feel and sense my body—what it was doing and how it moved in response to the instructions. I began to notice different kinds of emotions inside me—when they appeared, how long they lasted, and where I sensed them in my body. It’s especially powerful when both partners attend the program together, as they can witness each other’s process. My partner and I would talk after each session about what we felt, how the exercises went for each of us, what we became aware of, and what improvements we could make in the relationship. Some days went better, others not as well.
I also delved deeper into Aleš’s podcasts and excellent video content on his website. If someone is honest with themselves and truly wants to change behavior that harms their partner, children, or others around them, Aleš’s programs offer every opportunity. What’s needed is commitment and the intent to do everything necessary to change the energy within yourself—only then are true shifts possible. Intellectual understanding alone is not enough, because the body has its own demands.
The breathing module exercises were excellent. It’s incredible what can be discovered through breathing and what biochemical processes within the body can be transformed just by breathing! It would be wonderful if these topics were also addressed in kindergartens and schools.
The program gave me so much—I began to listen to and feel my body more clearly (I can now increasingly distinguish what it’s telling me, even when I’m not in a program). The biggest shift occurred in my behavior. Before, I could see or hear certain things, but I wouldn’t move or act on them. Now I know why. I was mimicking my mother’s behavior—what I saw in childhood, I was recreating in my own life. When a person begins to rediscover themselves—how they used to act and how they act after the program—interesting things start to happen. Aleš often emphasized: “With the same behavior, we cannot expect different results,” and “Once you begin working on yourself, every relationship changes.”
Of course, anyone who joins the program hopes for relationship improvement. That was my hope, too. But the outcome was different. I ended the relationship. After the program, there was some improvement, but then a rapid decline. Eventually, my partner was either unable or unwilling to engage in any communication about the relationship. When new awareness opened within me, I realized I had been living in a fairly toxic environment. My SMA/SMI had allowed me to live in an illusion in which things were “sort of okay.”
The environment we live in greatly affects us. A home should be a place where you can relax, feel safe, accepted, desired—where you can be a woman, in a feminine structure and function—where you and your partner value and respect each other and are grateful each day for moments of healthy communication, closeness, and intimacy. You plan and build together. Even if we didn’t see this modeled in childhood, I now know it’s possible—if we’re willing to take responsibility and work on ourselves. But first, we have to love ourselves in a healthy way, set healthy boundaries, express ourselves authentically, and cultivate love within so we can share it with others—and thus contribute to the highest good in our relationships.
When one chapter closes, another opens. Aleš says: “What you don’t process in this relationship, you’ll carry into the next—and the unfinished work will be waiting for you there.”
I agree with Aleš. Life as a couple is more beautiful. I look forward to a new relationship when the time comes—and definitely built on different foundations than before. I am grateful to Aleš for helping me become aware, feel, and make meaningful changes in my life through his program.