A little report on what happened during the first and second programs.
During the AEQ breathing program, for the first time, I consciously felt my diaphragm, how shallow my breathing was, and mainly, due to the tightness of the abdomen, only with the upper part of the lungs. During the day, I noticed that I was constantly tightening my stomach and abnormally pulling it in (partly due to obesity and shame until the end of my teenage years).
I realized how ineffective, silenced, and shallow my breath was to take a step out of my self-doubt, stand up for myself and gain basic respect for my surroundings, especially my home environment. Towards the end of the AEQ breathing program, I began to get in touch with my body to notice how I reacted to my thoughts and the influences of my surroundings.
To respond to positive and negative stimuli, such as just a call from a colleague, without knowing the purpose, I react by contracting my body and completely cutting off the feeling of what is happening in my body. My biggest challenge was a long, deep, quality inhale and then a quality exhale.
Through the program, step-by-step through exercises, and quality explanations, I realized that this is severely limited by the chronic stiffness of my abdomen and shoulder girdle, especially the right shoulder, which constantly forces me from a neutral position to a pushed forward position. I didn’t feel all of this due to sensory-motor amnesia, and it started to open up to me through the pain, which sometimes takes a large part of my attention during the day.
With the end of the AEQ breathing program and the beginning of the lower body program, I began to get in touch with my legs. As a long-time cyclist, I always thought I had them under complete control and felt them well. However, it turned out that this is not the case and that the recent re-injury of the knee is a reflection of the fact that I overdid it for years and often went beyond the healthy limits of my body because I had no real contact with it due to suppressed emotions and traumas. Through the guided program and learning exercises, I felt what kind of chaos I had in my body. Even though I’m resting like never before, my legs feel heavier and more tired than I’ve felt after the hardest training sessions and matches.
Throughout the day, I have been experiencing pain in the plexus, and the lower part of the abdomen, the pain in the right groin intensifies with occasional stinging. The inner thigh muscle is currently experiencing pain, on the right side, especially in the attachment of the knee joint, there are several strong cramps during the day. It tightens my hamstrings and partially my buttocks, which is especially noticeable when walking and prevents me from taking a longer step. I also noticed how bad my balance was. In a “relaxed” lying down state, I have a tremor on the right sole that is visible to the naked eye.
The pain in the right shoulder increases, which is greatest when it subsides in the abdomen. During the day, it is sometimes so big that it tightens in my neck and all the way to the area above my ear. Or it moves up the arm into the forearm, which is accompanied by a biceps twitch. I started to feel a strong rigidity between both shoulder blades. The first time I noticed this was in the respiratory forward bend. And then, every time we pushed each shoulder into the ground during the exercises. Strong amnesia also showed up, because with a lot of effort, for example, when lifting my hip, I left the opposite shoulder relaxed. This relaxation escapes when attention is transferred to another part of the body.
As one last observation. Yesterday, during the standing counting module, I reached the number 70 3 times in a row. A month ago, 40+ was unreachable. I proudly finished the module and continued with the powerful exhalation module. On the third repetition, a beastly voice came out of me, my legs were already concretely bent, and the left side of my stomach and my entire leg tightened as if it wanted to bring me to my knees.
Have a good day,