I am going to summarize my observations and experiences this way:
I joined the 30-day program of the AEQ method with the intention of eliminating or at least lessen the pain in my back, neck, knees and my feet, which I have cultivated in my life through various activities. Or so I thought. After the introductory session and the first two days of led exercises, I learned that the exercises of clinical somatics, which I was already familiar with, have been greatly upgraded into the AEQ method, which reaches deep into the roots of physical pain.
Although I am not unfamiliar with the role and function of the subconscious, I find the connection and causation of pain and events in the subconscious (own and collective) astonishing. In order to best describe my experience during the last three weeks, I only had to flip through a diary of each entry, which ranges from two lines at the beginning to two pages a day later. A whole range of feelings and moods branch out from them – from the initial, familiar resistance to enthusiasm for one’s own well-being, then I lose attention, catch it, then fall again, thinking about the meaning of this action, followed by a truce and stabilization.
Writing helps. I am gradually regaining control over my shoulder blades, pelvis, feet and muscles. I feel as if I’m focusing on completely different things than what I wanted to fix when I first joined the problem, and the surprising lack of back and neck pain is actually the side product of the AEQ method. Meanwhile, I think of E. Kusturica’s film Underground, where people live underground for 50 years, making weapons, thinking that the war is still going on. Thus, no one told the subconscious that there is no more danger and that it no longer has to defend my limbs and other parts of the body, i.e. that it should put its machinery away or put it somewhere else.
The problem remains sleep and morning exercise. I’ve always been a fan of late-night reading, and now that I don’t have to go to work anymore, I’ve taken a break. Anyway, I lose my mornings, and that’s a shame. I try to go to bed earlier and change the rhythm, but I’m still wide awake at one or two. That’s why I do morning exercise more often than not. My attention is a timid, fluttering bird in the morning.
Sometimes during training I feel that I am getting ‘wrong’ instructions and that a certain movement is impossible to perform. The whole thing is similar to playing on an out of tune instrument. Then at some point a certain part of the body thaws and I feel it as mine. I realize there is nothing wrong with the instructions.
Before and after the exercise, we have the opportunity to ask questions and clarify ambiguities individually. I notice that other participants of the program experience something similar to myself. Towards the end of the program, there are fewer and fewer questions, the answers have become predictable, or everyone already knows how to find most of them on their own.
Of course, I am worried about how I will do the exercises myself after the program is over. Now I already know that the subconscious mind does not like rapid changes and changes in itself. The point is not to give up at the first resistance, but to try again carefully and slowly. And again! At the same time, I am looking forward to this research and journey to myself. The AEQ method is the right tool and the right guide!
Thank you and have a good day,