For the first few weeks of the program, I felt terribly cold and it felt awful to feel it – I needed hot showers afterwards to stabilize myself. Toward the end I gradually warmed up, I was even sweating through the standing exercises.
It was a great experience because I never exercised standing up before – I probably didn’t trust my own feet enough to hold me and I was scared to stand firmly on them. Through the physical changes new insights came up about who I am, how much pressure I put on myself, how much guilt I carry inside me, and I could also see my environment more clearly – where and how do I allow to be abused and humiliated.
I decided to speak up and stand up to them which was at first received with resistance and attack but then in a few days after they began understanding what was it that I was trying to tell them we had a conversation and created more order. I felt how much more weight do my words have when they are backed by my body and how much more I am capable of saying – not being afraid of expressing the negative things, not closing off or allowing myself to get confused because of an attack.
I can also sense better when am I weak and therefore take more time to think when needed so I can provide a quality answer – I am not able to get enough clarity and focus in the moment to defend myself but turn on my ego who gives low quality answers and defense instead. I realized that I put too much of my time into solving things for others instead for myself, therefore I will be putting more attention into changing my feelings around the belief that I don’t matter.
Your program gave me access to new depths and new dimensions, I learned so many new things about myself and I thank you very much for it.