I tried a few approaches already, but these exercises and the exercise routine have shown the most effect. Or at least they’re the most promising, because I still have quite a few months or years of change ahead of me. More than 40 years of hiding is not revealed in a few weeks.
These exercises are certainly something else. They’re different than the lessons we learn throughout our lives: higher, faster, and stronger. Moving body parts only so much that we can feel them moving and are able to observe how the body functions is something new.
And the body doesn’t follow my orders. Interesting. It listens, but it adds in a move or two. Sometimes even a bit of tension. Being aware of this fact might not be surprising at first. Except when reason associates the failure to follow instructions with the information that it’s because I’ve learned to be tight-lipped. I’m am rigid because I hid my feelings. I still don’t know what feelings and when it was. The fact that I don’t let emotions and feelings exist, or rather I don’t acknowledge or take them into account, is the main reason why I attended the exercises.
So, I’m getting to the heart of my problem. Which is also reflected in the reactions. The first few exercises were still the same as before. After a few days it started with intense dreams. I don’t remember ever having such vivid dreams several nights in a row. And they were quite varied and interesting. In the last few days, however, insomnia has replaced dreams. The subconscious works very hard to keep emotions and the past hidden. I often think of what was mentioned in the opening lecture: humans become very innovative in finding excuses to keep these things where they are.
I expect future results with great curiosity.