Hello,

During the first week, or rather the first few days of exercises, I was getting accustomed to the terminology of SMA and AEQ explanations regarding the influence of personal, inherited, and environmentally transferred emotions and impulses, which evidently led to the contraction in the upper part of my body.

Suddenly, scenes from the past started playing in my mind, where I felt intense anxiety, anger, and helplessness—mostly involving my parents—and also memories from primary and secondary school.
Until around the age of 18, I was quite overweight, obese even, and this burdened me greatly. As a teenager, I began uncontrolled training and overexerting my body, sometimes to the point of exhaustion, to lose weight and get a “normal” figure. At that time, I felt no physical pain or inner compassion for my body, because the goal was set and had to be achieved. And my body withstood it—until a few years ago, when I started experiencing moderate to severe pain on the left side of my back, then in my left shoulder, followed by my left flank and hip. This has been going on for several years.
The pain sometimes moves around, but it’s most consistently expressed in the middle of the left half of my back and is quite persistent.

This may not be a direct answer to a question, but I wanted to somehow describe my past condition.
Since joining the AEQ program, I’ve realized that I’ve always been too impulsive and impatient—everything had to happen immediately or as soon as possible, otherwise it felt pointless. But since things in family life and relationships don’t always go the way we want, I often avoided conflict by withdrawing and suppressing things… well… had I known better, I’d have done things differently.

My family noticed that already within the first few days, I became more reactive and talkative than before, especially about situations that previously didn’t bother me much—just everyday things, events, etc.
I do the exercises as consciously and slowly as I can. Sometimes I get lost in the instructions and in my desire to do the movements as beautifully and precisely as possible, but it often doesn’t go that way. Naturally, my ego flares up, but we’re starting to get along better and are beginning to understand each other a bit more.

As far as I can feel during the exercises, I tend to perform the back clock movement uncontrollably—especially when moving the shoulders toward the spine, inward—which is harder with the left than the right shoulder.
When we circle through all the clock positions, it feels like I’m a beetle or even a block.

Still, from the beginning of AEQ until now, I feel better, I can control internal impulses more easily, I’m starting to hear more clearly what my body is telling me and when it’s had enough… though I still get carried away sometimes.

I “feel” my family more, in the sense that I can focus more on moments and relationships with both my children and my wife.
All in all, for now I am very satisfied and surprised at how the AEQ techniques are affecting me.
That’s all for now—there are probably many more important things that will come to the surface.

Kind regards,
Participant of the 30-day program