I would like to thank you for these last few insights…your words are so impactful and meaningful and I felt a strong resonance with them in my body when you said that we create change with action and not with intention. I realized that despite my previous interest in AEQ, I haven’t yet made the deeply felt action that I needed to because of my subconscious patterns and fears of being seen, of not being good enough and of appearing stupid. I thought it was enough to understand my patterns inwardly while I rarely made the right crucial outer steps and even when I did, they felt difficult.
So much started opening up for me during the program that it felt hard to verbalize it and that is why I will express my insights and my feelings in writing. I participated in 3 AEQ programs. In the first program, for the bottom part of the body, I felt how my body slowly started to open. My conscious and my subconscious awareness have not been walking side by side for a long time now, which I felt, and that is why I started feeling the suppressed emotions that I was afraid to face. I didn’t know how to face them before but now I can sense them better, my SMA is lessening and with the help of Aleš’s explanations in the program and through email I am able to finally reconnect with them again. I also gained an understanding that because I am starting to feel my body better it will slow me down in other areas of my life because facing yourself takes time. Having shaky pelvis and legs became a temporary constant and a lot of fear to feel these feelings but authentically feeling yourself is worth it because it is the only way to see the real truth of where you are instead of living an illusion.
I decided to go even deeper and applied for another 30-day program of AEQ breathing. I have been doing the breathing exercises before attending this program but I haven’t been really dealing with the sensations and feelings that came up – when you are in the 30-day program that is not possible. Through the various breathing modules Aleš gives you the explanation of their purpose and everything that could happen while executing them. I got to know about the influence that my breathing diaphragm and somatic movement during the inhale and exhale have on me. The muscle armor in my chest started lessening while my forgotten sadness appeared. In the third module of the program for the upper part of the body I realized that I am not good at expressing my authentic anger. How am I supposed to express it effectively if I don’t feel in my body anything else but contraction, especially in my legs, abdomen and jaw? I am making small steps toward progress though the more I connect to my body.
Thank you Aleš, for this invaluable experience of getting to know my body and defrosting my sensory-motor amnesia. It has been very turbulent but worth every second. I received many insights, knowledge and learned how to move properly.
The learning continues…