There is a saying that a tree is only as strong as its roots. A good grower will inhibit and control the growth of the seedling in order to achieve better development of its roots. This delays the first fruits and full fertility, but this is richly repaid through a more resistant tree, whose fertility lasts for many years. Today, we treat children in the opposite way. We overload them to grow as fast as possible while denying them the acceptance and support of their childhood, which is necessary to develop their roots and faith in themselves. We push our children just like ourselves while not realizing that in doing so, we undermine their sense of certainty and diminish their sense of acceptance and safety. Because of this, he will grow up too fast; he will suppress his feelings and emotions from his body and become unrealistic about himself and time.
The child cannot receive the attention he needs from his parents because they are overloaded. A person is overloaded if the number and types of all the impulses he receives from the world exceed his ability to gradually process and respond to them. The effect of being overwhelmed is that we remain in a state of anxiety or tension that we cannot shake off and relax. We feel too tense and overloaded; we become irritable and anxious. Everything listed leads us to look for new stimulations. Similarly to how a child runs away from home where there is no peace, safety, or support, we run away from the mess within our bodies. A vicious spiral is created that spins the person’s ego higher and higher away from the reality of the body. This harms our behavior and commonly leads to drug abuse or other addictions, which alter the way we perceive reality, relax muscle tone and reduce anxiety. That way, they temporarily enable the connection between the ego and body, which we feel as a pleasant experience – unfortunately, with a limited duration.
Permanent stress leads the person away from their body when it disturbs their inner rhythm and harmony. It changes the state of the autonomic nervous system and makes it impossible to reach the parasympathetic without substance abuse. Such a person does not correctly perceive the body because he achieves fake happiness through addiction. This is not due to physical pleasure, which requires the lengthening of muscles and expansion into space, but arises in the nervous system through the secretion of pleasure hormones. The severity of this disorder can be seen if the person cannot sit still or cannot be alone. If restlessness drives her to constant activity, to constant action, to constant new projects, despite obvious fatigue, boredom, burnout, or addiction to stimulants (coffee, cigarettes…). It forces him into a position where he has no more time for herself or his loved ones, so he cannot maintain a deeper relationship. Husbands have no time for their wives, mothers have no time for children, and friends have no time for socializing.
It is easier to overwhelm children than adults, as their sensitivity is greater, and their ability to tolerate and limit external stimulation is lower. Thus, a child who has too many toys constantly wants new ones. If he is allowed to watch television, he will want to watch it all the time. If he is allowed to stay up late, it will be difficult to tuck him in his bed. However, the child is overloaded with hyperactivity and restlessness of his parents that they brought into their home from the outside. The mothers overloaded state transfers to the child. Sadly, parents believe that if a child does more and more things at once, he will learn more and grow up faster. The intensity of this belief results in the dominance of the ego and is worrisome. Being quiet, calm, empathetic and wise is an almost unknown way of life today.
Aleš Ernst, author of the AEQ method and AEQ breathing.
