If we wish to cure our condition, we have to become aware of the pattern hidden deep inside us.

We may begin to mention this pattern, complain about it, or recognize it in other people. Somehow it floats to the surface of our attention, and we begin to establish a relationship with it. We often attract a teacher, friend, workshop, or book that awakens in us new approaches to solving our problem.

We respond to the first stage by thinking that this approach is stupid and doesn’t make sense. We may find it too simple or unacceptable for our way of thinking, we don’t want to do it or resist all our might. Maybe the thought of doing it makes us angry. Such a response is very good if we can understand that this is the first step in healing. I tell my patients that every reaction that they might feel is welcome because it shows them that the process of changing has begun. The process begins when we begin thinking about changing ourselves.

Impatience is only another form of resistance. It is resisting learning and change. If we demand that something is done immediately, we don’t allow ourselves to learn the lesson connected to the problem we created.

If you wish to go to another room, you have to stand up and walk each step in that direction. If you’ll sit on a chair and demand yourself to move into the next room, you won’t get far. It’s the same with your mood. We all wish for the problem to disappear, but we do not wish to perform the things that would help solve it.

Sometimes, however, there comes a time when we realize that we are responsible for the problem. I’m not talking that the conscience should burn us that we are ‘bad’ because we are where we are. I’m talking that we should become aware of our ‘inner strength,’ which turns our every thought into action. Until now, this strength was used subconsciously, and it created events that we didn’t want. We weren’t aware of what we were doing because we didn’t sense it and didn’t sense the act being performed. We just felt the consequences.

When we become aware of our responsibility, we begin to consciously learn how to use this awareness in a way that will benefit us.

Aleš Ernst, author of the AEQ method and AEQ breathing

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