The more I perform AEQ exercises, the better I understand the holistic connection. Change is only possible when we take responsibility.

Nowadays, I don’t suppress my feelings and emotions to myself or hide them from others. Discovering these is an important part of facing reality and oneself, the causes of pain.

I understand what is happening inside me; I change what I feel requires changing and understanding that the causes of pain I used to feel and perceive merely as something external are, in fact, something that comes from within me, from this, what I live deep inside me, what I have created for myself through thinking and beliefs.

These days, my feelings are an indicator of my true state. With them, I am becoming aware of my roots and gaining a better understanding of the causes of whatever problem I am currently facing. I understand the importance of returning to your past. Why did I cut off communication with my body? Simple, because I realized that the truth could hurt. I didn’t know how to face the pain inside me, so today, I understand that the easiest path for me was the choice to despise the things I felt. If I don’t feel my body well enough, it’s because I’m ignoring the sensations that make me feel pain, and if I don’t feel any pain, I don’t have to deal with it. Now in the process, it’s necessary to deal with and face what was hidden.

Taking responsibility is challenging. We cannot do it yet when we are children. By doing the exercises, I am opening myself up more and more to self-awareness. Things are coming to light that I suppressed so deeply inside that I couldn’t even believe that they were a part of me.

Today I understand the importance of facing and taking responsibility for myself. I know what my subconscious program, which I have built in myself as I was growing up, is by understanding the causes. I take responsibility for the fact that I am the only one who can influence and also change my program.

It’s not easy at all. I will use a colloquial term that may not sound the best, but I know everyone will understand. For all this, one must have “balls”! I am increasingly aware of reality and understand more and more what the real causes of my current physical condition are.

I understand more and more what makes me proud, but at the same time, I feel a strong fear of taking responsibility and change. I understand that it is necessary to express feelings, and today I am proud of being clear and direct. Proud that I don’t judge myself and that I live without guilt.

There was a time when I felt the weight of responsibility, and then I noticed that I went in search of other responsible people and tried to shift my burden on them. It was an attempt to escape. Throughout the process, I took many small steps, and each led me to discover a new part that I needed to face to move forward. I can feel how the AEQ exercises affect opening on a physical level, which is closely related to awareness. I still make some mistakes. I still notice that sometimes I would rather run away from taking responsibility for myself.

It wasn’t easy, but today, with awareness, I feel and understand why I needed and need the disease and its symptoms. Because whatever happened, the disease was always to blame. The obvious change is that I now express myself clearly and no longer fear judgment or rejection. This is me now, accepting myself. I understand more and more and explain myself and my choices more and more naturally.

Jana Špeh, Izola