Partners increasingly behave as a single entity or system, possessing two heads, four arms, and four legs. This unity gives them the potential to become more effective in solving problems while also experiencing deeper and more intense emotions. Although these heightened emotions are positive, they demand an appropriate level of emotional maturity. This requirement is also the greatest obstacle and the reason why the process of developing emotional maturity, which can be learned in AEQ programs and is taught by the AEQ method, takes so much time.
The challenge lies in the fact that through AEQ explanations of the processes that govern relationships between partners, the influence of the past on them, AEQ exercises, and the reduction of sensory-motor amnesia, we soften the body and become less rigid and more spontaneous, which in turn leads to stronger emotions. These stronger emotions, however, can surpass the individual’s current level of emotional maturity. This presents a particularly significant challenge for men, who may flee from women when this occurs. On one hand, men strive to satisfy women, to give them what they need, to show attention and love, to care for them, and to demonstrate that they are trustworthy… However, when a woman starts to trust the man more because she sees he is more effective in solving problems—because he knows what he is doing—she responds by relaxing more. As she relaxes, she opens up emotionally and floods the man with more intense emotions, which he does not know how to handle or accept, as he never witnessed his father doing so and had no opportunity to learn it elsewhere.
His father would typically respond immaturely to the strong emotions of his wife, regardless of whether those emotions were positive or negative. He would either attack her, causing her to retreat and shut down again, or he would flee, which again made her realize she couldn’t trust him, leading her to close off once more. As a result, the parents could never move forward into deeper emotional intimacy and, consequently, could not elevate their emotional maturity.
The more we are able to handle stronger emotions due to higher emotional maturity, the more energy we can use effectively, resulting in greater problem-solving capabilities. We also fear the future less because we know we will be able to address and resolve most potential problems in a timely and effective manner. This is especially achievable when the woman is sufficiently parasympathetic to perceive the future and can alert the man to an approaching issue. This allows the man to ensure everything is ready so that when the problem arises, he can address and resolve it efficiently.
In such a relationship, a toxic environment cannot take root, except for occasional acute or short-term toxicity—long-term or chronic toxicity, however, is absent. From the AEQ method’s perspective, a long-term non-toxic environment is the foundation for a properly emotionally mature parental relationship. This means the primary relationship is between the parents, as they are the central unit of the family responsible for solving problems. In such a less problematic or even problem-free environment, the child can independently develop into their own unique blend of father and mother and discover their life path. The child learns from the parents how to solve problems in terms of technique, approach, and practice. The more the child learns this from the parents, the more natural problem-solving becomes. When that child grows up, they are attracted to individuals with a similar level of emotional maturity. This is also the guarantee that the child will form a similarly emotionally mature partnership, from which a mature parental relationship can be developed.
