Around 3 years ago, after many check-ups with no solutions for lessening my chronic pain, I decided to find the reasons for my pain by myself. First, I started reading books and looked for something that would resonate with how I felt. I just wanted some answers, and this is when I first got to know myself with the AEQ method. I believe it was not a coincidence. When I began carrying out AEQ exercises my body was in such strong contraction that I wasn’t even able to lay on floor so I did them on the bed instead. All I felt was intense burning pain throughout my whole body. I had severe SMA, I couldn’t feel certain parts of my body. I felt like a prisoner of my own body. My life felt like bare survival and my body was more and more tired. I have a strong will for being alive though which made me not give up. I was exploring and learning every day, looking for answers and feeling into Aleš’s explanations. After 3 years of everyday learning, of exercising and breathing I can now feel and describe the sensations from my soft tissues and I am able to connect the somatic pain with the reason for it.
6 years ago, I got cancer and after a successful treatment a reconstruction was made. Since then, I felt more and more shoulder pain, and received various diagnoses that were unacceptable. I felt that there must be something in the body that is constantly causing the inflammation. This year, I went even deeper into my somatic feelings in AEQ programs and Aleš’s individual sessions. It wasn’t an easy period when these deeply suppressed feelings started coming up to the surface to be acknowledged consciously. Aleš’s explanations have helped me a lot with introducing effective expression into my life. I then even intuitively decided, after many years of being infected with borrelia, to test my blood in a German laboratory. The test was positive, which never happened in Slovenia, therefore I could receive the right medications.
With the help of exercises, the awareness gained and with gradual actualization of AEQ principles I could feel the movement of my soft tissues inside me more and more. When doing the standing exercise “Side body swing” I realized that my usual posture looks like the letter C. To have an upright posture like this you need to contract many muscles that are not needed which makes the body very tired. I explored further and felt the crossing of certain somatic lines and with it felt certain muscles that were severely shortened. I felt a rotation in the pelvis and the chest, and disharmony in my shoulder area. On one of the sides my shoulder is visibly lowered because of the contracted muscles of my chest. These sensations brought me insights about my breastbone – it moves only minimally – while I also have a very tight chest area in general. When learning AEQ breathing I realized various anomalies in my chest that do not allow nor a proper inhale nor a proper exhale. This is how I learned the real causes for my pain. I wasn’t sure for a while, why my chest is so hardened but I discovered that as well. At the moment, I am in a phase of check-ups and tests that point to a physical issue from reconstruction. I warned the doctors about this and explained to them about the misalignments that I feel in my body which creates inappropriate movement of my chest.
I can feel that from what I’ve learned through AEQ my body seems to be turning on self-healing mechanisms because many of the contractions have loosened up. Apart from this, I was also due for a sinus operation because they confirmed inflammation with an x-ray 8 months ago – the reason was death tooth removal which now wasn’t showing any signs of inflammation and that is why I intuitively asked for another x-ray. The doctor said that it is impossible that the inflammation would die off but it turned out that the sinus was clear and instead of surgery I could walk right out of the hospital, very happily. I wish I could do other testing and a procedure for releasing tension in my chest as soon as possible – until then I will carry on with exploring and analyzing my feelings because maybe it might miraculously die off as well! I am now consciously working on harmonizing my somatic asymmetries by slowly and sensually lengthening those parts of my body that I feel are too short – I am finding the knowledge of AEQ breathing really helps with this.
Regardless of dealing with so much pain and exhaustion over the years and still today, especially since I now feel my body a lot more, I am so very grateful for the knowledge that I gained through the painful process into awareness. I believe that this exact knowledge is opening the doors for me into an easier and happier future.