Before I attended my first AEQ therapy, I thought that I would learn a couple of exercises that I will perform for a few months and that my undefined chronic pain will ease itself or maybe even disappear. After a few years of slowly getting familiar with the method, I can say that I couldn't have been more wrong. My interpretation was completely illusory. I never imagined I would plow where I definitely didn't want to be.
During active sessions, I experienced mostly disappointments over myself as I slowly became aware that I was feeling bad about my body. Because I exaggerated in performing the exercises to feel certain muscles at all, I felt pain all too often. I didn't know how to catch the right moves, make them feel enjoyable, and learn from them. At the same time, my ego often guided me with the goal of, say, bringing my hand as close to the ground as possible, even though I had already crossed the comfort zone. I became aware that this isn't the goal, but I never really understood it. My ego was stronger than the well-meaning advice I received. I was becoming tired. I was often accompanied by strong feelings of confusion and not even knowing what I was doing and that I haven't even grasped the point of the method. I got confused every time I had to describe what I felt inside my body and when asked to describe the difference between before and after. My conscious feeling was very weak.