Cynicism has become one of the characteristic emotional responses of modern times, often understood as a defense mechanism against disappointment and uncertainty. It is an integral part of adulthood until one can transform cynicism into wisdom. However, behind this skeptical view of the world lies a deeper pattern linked to unresolved inner conflicts and a loss of connection with oneself during childhood. The cynic is often envious of the child, seeing in them the lost opportunity that the child still has—the chance to live life differently than the way it was allowed for them.
According to the AEQ method, cynicism reflects the state of sensory-motor amnesia (SMA), where the body and consciousness operate in discord, and the individual loses the ability to be aware of their state, its influence, and conscious control over their reactions and emotions. SMA develops as a result of prolonged exposure to stress, trauma, and inappropriate movement and emotional patterns. The body adapts to constant tension, losing awareness of muscles and movement. Consequently, the individual finds themselves in a chronic sympathetic state of the nervous system, keeping them in a fight-or-flight mode even when no danger is present. Heart rate is elevated, muscles are tense, and breathing is shallow. In such a state, physical regeneration and emotional stability are significantly impaired.
Chronic cynicism arises as a response to helplessness that the individual feels but does not recognize or express. They become skeptical of everything and everyone, including themselves, and create an emotional distance that protects them from further pain. In children, they sense spontaneous joy and happiness, reminding them of something they once had and lost. This leads to feelings of envy as they momentarily realize that their desire for life has slipped from their grasp. In the long run, this state does not bring relief but increases internal tension and dissatisfaction. It often leads to toxic relationships with the environment, which the cynic blames for their condition. While some of their environment may be responsible for their internal imbalance, the cynic fails to define it clearly due to a lack of emotional maturity. Instead, they blame everyone and envy those who have what they lost or were deprived of. In some cases, this can have tragic consequences for children.
Carl Jung emphasizes that true change begins when an individual confronts their inner state. Self-awareness is crucial, as it allows individuals to recognize their internal conflicts and patterns, which are often unconscious but strongly influence their perception of the world. Jung argues that achieving inner balance is impossible without facing one’s “shadow”—the part of oneself that is ignored or rejected. Cynics who project their dissatisfaction and helplessness onto external circumstances or other people enable themselves to remain unchanged, thus preventing their path to peace and growth.
According to the AEQ method, it is essential to recognize that cynicism is a symptom of a deeper imbalance, which can be addressed by gradually restoring conscious control over the body. While it may seem strange, an adult should be more cynical than naive—provided that cynicism does not become a chronic form of expressing hatred toward the world, the present, or their children. Such hatred is often the reason why some people choose not to have children, which, in the long run, makes them even more cynical and selfish. This can lead to the belief that personal peace can only be achieved by creating child-free spaces—from hotels and restaurants to beaches and events—allowing them to control their intense emotional and physical responses of envy.
Naivety often leads to reckless decisions and repeated disappointments, as it ignores the complexity of reality. Conversely, though initially appearing cold and distant, cynicism reflects a certain level of critical thinking and rejection of false hopes. However, cynicism mustn’t evolve into a chronic state that manifests helplessness toward the future. Such a state often leads to toxic relationships, particularly in partnerships.
The fear caused by helplessness about the future further amplifies the toxic impact of cynicism on relationships. Instead of fostering connection and support, partners often create an illusion of a relationship in which they exist as two individuals separated by an invisible but powerful wall of cynicism. This emotional detachment leads to distrust, reduced empathy, and a sense of loneliness in the relationship. While they may maintain the facade of a relationship, in reality, they function as two separate worlds, causing long-term dissatisfaction and emotional distance.
The AEQ method provides tools for overcoming these limitations. Individuals learn conscious movement and muscle tension release through AEQ exercises and guidance from an AEQ teacher. These exercises include slow, precise movements that improve communication between muscles and the nervous system. As SMA decreases, emotional efficiency improves—recognizing, expressing, and regulating emotions. This is a crucial step in transitioning from cynicism to wisdom.
Wisdom means thinking critically without chronic toxic emotions while maintaining openness to the world. The transition from cynicism to wisdom is a gradual process that involves increasing awareness of emotional patterns, changing responses to stress, and developing a stronger connection with oneself and others by reducing SMA and increasing emotional maturity. As individuals enhance their emotional efficiency, they can form more functional and fulfilling relationships, including romantic partnerships. This is a powerful antidote to cynicism on the path to the wisdom of mature adulthood.
In a healthy relationship, there is no room for walls of chronic cynicism. Instead, the relationship is based primarily on mutual understanding, open communication, and shared awareness of common goals. With the help of AEQ exercises, partners can gradually reduce emotional detachment and build bridges of connection, supported by lower SMA and higher emotional efficiency, which enables a true partnership. In this way, cynicism no longer becomes an obstacle but an opportunity for growth, leading to a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s partner and creating a harmonious relationship.
Jung warns that rejecting responsibility for one’s inner state is dangerous, as it creates the illusion that the problem lies outside the individual. The key to resolution lies in self-awareness—facing one’s shadows and breaking free from automatic responses such as chronic cynicism. Self-awareness is a process that allows individuals to see reality more clearly and make conscious choices about how to respond to it. Over time, cynicism becomes only a transitional state on the path to a conscious, balanced, and fulfilling life, where relationships become increasingly connected and harmonious.
Aleš Ernst, Author of AEQ relations
