In a 2022 study, we examined sexual satisfaction in relation to gender. Sexuality is a deeply subjective human experience. And likely for that very reason, it is so strongly colored and conditioned by a person’s unique internal emotional and physical world. In our study, interesting differences emerged between men and women regarding satisfaction in sexuality.
- On average, men show only slightly higher sexual satisfaction than women.
- However, greater differences appear in the correlation between sexual satisfaction and the dimensions (traits) we investigated. In all dimensions, the correlations are stronger in men than in women. Let’s take a look.
The strongest correlation with sexual satisfaction is positive emotional atmosphere between husband and wife, or partners. However, in men, this coefficient is +0.81, while in women it is +0.69—meaning we are talking about a very strong connection. The more positive the atmosphere between them, the better the sex. And vice versa—the better the sex, the more positive the atmosphere.
The second strongest correlation is with negative atmosphere: for men -0.56, for women -0.44. The more negativity or bad atmosphere between them, the worse the sex—or the worse the sex, the more negativity arises.
Sexual satisfaction is also influenced by patterns we bring from our primary families. The more positive the atmosphere was at home, the better the sexual relationship. And the more negative the home atmosphere, the worse the sexual connection between partners.
A similar influence comes from the current family atmosphere, how problems are faced, and the feeling of having inner strength to solve daily issues. On average, these factors affect men more than women.
What is surprising is the finding that male sexual satisfaction depends more heavily on the emotional “backpack” we bring from home than it does for women. Male sexuality is more affected by the emotional state in the current family than female sexuality. It is also more dependent on the positive and negative atmosphere between partners than in women.
Public opinion suggests the opposite. As has often been stated, sex means more to men than women. Perhaps we can say that sexuality in men is a stronger barometer of psychological, inner, emotional-physical state than it is in women. But we men do not know, do not dare, or do not want to accept this fact. We were raised to be rational, with less connection to our emotions and inner states.
So, dear woman, it seems I’m more emotional than I dare to admit. Just help me learn how to better express, feel, and share my inner states, which so deeply affect our sexuality.
Janez Logar and Aleš Ernst
