Good day Aleš,
I would like to write a few words on my impressions of the AEQ breathing program that I have taken part of.
Throughout the whole program I felt different changes on different levels – memories of my early childhood resurfaced (some were very vivid) and some memories from around 15 years ago. It’s interesting that memories from in between haven’t appeared (yet). Throughout the exercises, I continued to observe in amazement the reactions of my body, which I did not expect. My body really spoke. And for the most part, I didn’t like what it said at all. I realized that I often treat my body in a very step-motherly way – it has to obey me when and how I want with the power of my will. At the moment I don’t know how to do otherwise. I am also amazed at how much intense fear, anger and sadness I carry inside me. Your explanations often echo in my ears, and occasionally I hear a sentence that triggers a certain reaction in me – in the form of a memory, as a reminder in a given situation that I can act differently, or as an explanation of a certain emotion or behavior.
I would like to emphasize that I have experienced various methods with the help of which I wanted to change myself – psychotherapy, mindfulness, and guided group meditations. Perhaps the desire to change was not as strong as it is now, but perhaps it is a method that really works in the direction of active change and not just at the level of perceiving your patterns and trying to accept them. It’s probably a combination of both. And especially for the fact that with the help of the AEQ method, in my opinion, you really go to the heart of the problem and try to understand it from the point of view of its function. The fact that the AEQ method is so bodily, physical, concrete, I think that’s what moved me. How could one ignore such a clear physical response?
The path is obviously long. I often don’t want to stand on both feet and constantly move them instead. But I’ve been doing it for too long. I notice that my surroundings show me that until the present moment, I have preserved and carefully guarded the image of myself in my core, which is powerless and strongly dependent on the confirmations of the “Great Others.” In addition, this image often cleans up their own shit by creating conditions in the relationship that prevent them from confronting it. On top of everything else, I interpreted this quality of my taking care of the well-being of others as my advantage in terms of generosity and kindness (a strong example of my parents).
I now feel deep sympathy for this small child, who took it upon herself to care for the well-being of everyone in a family of five (airplane mother, submarine father, two much older sisters, one of whom is a prominent rebel in the family, the other a submarine 2000m underwater). I add to this the strong involvement of parents in my primary family. And then follows the logical question: How could she even dare to express herself? How was she even supposed to think of that? The parents were still reeling under their own emotional burdens, but I “promised them that they wouldn’t have any problems with me.” I also promised myself this, and I faithfully keep this promise to this day. I have a hard time letting her go. I find it hard to admit that I have problems myself. That I am a problem for others? It’s like I’m missing one important boundary between myself and others because I was so fused with my parents that I couldn’t see myself getting out of that relationship.
These are my current findings which I reached with the help of AEQ breathing exercises, enriched with your explanation. I admit, it was often not pleasant to hear the “hard truth”, which you definitely didn’t embellish in any way – nothing was added and nothing was left out, but worded with extreme precision. I’m not used to this kind of communication. At the same time, I should emphasize that communication has always been very easy. Your leadership was absolutely professional and relatable in the examples and occasionally in vocabulary, so that we could understand the explanation completely concretely and often also laughed (albeit a little bitterly)
Sincere congratulations and a big thank you!
I wish you all the best, and have a great day!