In the past eight months, I have participated in three 30-day programs within the School for Raising Emotional Maturity led by Aleš Ernst, and a 20-day AEQ program led by Jani Brajkovič. I also had three one-hour individual sessions with Aleš and three “table” therapies with Petra Šmid Seljak.

My current state is therefore the result of the culmination of the above activities through the AEQ approach. Let me add that I read a new post by Aleš every day on the AEQ Facebook page. I’ve listened to all AEQ podcasts led by Aleš, as well as those in which he was interviewed. Additionally, I’ve listened to a few podcasts where various AEQ teachers share their personal experiences with AEQ and the contribution this method makes to their work with clients. I also follow all the videos on YouTube where Aleš answers specific questions (Q&A).

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Last weekend, we concluded the 30-day program for resolving the relationship with parents, led by Aleš Ernst.
I must admit that I endured until the end only through sheer force of will. Fortunately, my husband was also enrolled in the program, otherwise I would probably have skipped a few evenings. I dragged myself from session to session.

At this point, I would warn that the AEQ method, in the content, form, and manner that Aleš Ernst delivers to clients, is certainly not suitable for someone who would be satisfied with merely repainting the façade of their half-collapsed house. Because Aleš is not indulgent—he doesn’t coddle you or wrap you in a warm blanket, but supports you in a radical adaptation, reconstruction, and revitalization! And this requires great courage, perseverance, focus, time, and energy from the client in many forms.

First, one must face the acknowledgment, metaphorically speaking, that the house they live in is unstable, the roof is leaking, the window frames are rotten and the panes shattered, the pipes are clogged, the wiring is sparking… In short: it is no longer suitable for living. If we don’t take action, it will collapse and bury us and everyone else living there under the illusion of safety.

Next comes the decision to renovate and choosing a contractor. But—if we select Aleš Ernst and his AEQ method through this “tender”—we encounter the next “unpleasantness”:
this contractor refuses to do anything for you! He demands the investor’s full participation! He only provides the tools, knowledge, skills, a wealth of outstanding references, and complete support—but you have to do the work yourself! You must become the master of your own destiny, as the Slovenian saying goes. You must slowly tear down the unhealthy parts, carefully remove what’s chronically bad, and preserve what’s good. Check the actual condition daily. Learn from mistakes. Be open to being taught. Invest time, energy, and attention in the project. Forego temporary pleasure for longer-term peace and order. Accept small pain today to avoid greater pain tomorrow.

In short—excuse the language: it’s fucking hard!
Yes, the collapse of illusions (even just partial ones) causes, to put it mildly, an unpleasant psychological and physical reaction. In fact, I should say horrific instead of unpleasant. It dragged me to the bottom: I am extremely tired, sleep poorly, and in a half-awake state, flashes from the past pierce me like blunt swords through flesh to the bone. If I hadn’t listened to Aleš’s explanations, which clarify the cause of such states, if fellow travelers who’ve already passed this stage hadn’t testified that it’s necessary for crossing into the “Promised Land,” I would have fled. In fact, honestly, I would still flee if I had somewhere to go. But I don’t know where anymore. Because I’ve tried every possible exit: I’ve changed partners, jobs, residences, hobbies… Yet I always run into myself! And the stories keep repeating, just with new scenery and actors. Each new story is only a worse version of the previous one. With one important detail: that by the ruthless law of time, I’m running out of time, opportunity, resources, and energy. And—believe me, I know what I’m talking about, because in terms of age, I’m in the final lap of the marathon of life.

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So what have I gained in eight months?
A lot!
My relationship with my husband has improved. I’ve started trusting him and believing in him, which, for me—someone who, due to horrific life experiences, trusts no one—is like completing a “mission impossible.” We are developing a more authentic, relaxed, and responsible relationship.

Several muscle groups have relaxed. I walk more upright, and chronic, years-long pain has become tolerable.
I quickly notice my body’s response. This allows me to link cause and effect without delay. I verify whether the consequence was triggered by a current event or just a memory of a past one that the present moment activated (recorded in the body and subconscious).

I’ve become more patient, even with myself. I’m no longer a fury who leaps first and then looks in horror at what she’s gotten into.
And—very importantly—I recognize significant progress in the quality of my being, achieved in just eight months. So: it makes sense to continue on the same path! In eight years (!), maybe my house, which was a ruin yesterday, will become a villa with a lovely garden, where it will be pleasant to sit in the shade and reminisce about the journey taken. And with that, the burden on the shoulders of my descendants—on whom I’ve unknowingly and unintentionally unloaded my own crosses and those of my ancestors—will at least be lightened.

That is my motivation, that gives me strength and perseverance to continue learning through the AEQ method.

Irena