This was my second breathing program. Last year I attended the 60-day course, and this year I attended the 30-day one. Nine months have passed since the start of last year’s program and the end of this year’s. In between, there is training for the AEQ teacher’s Level 1. In short, a lot of things happened to me.
The last 30 days program were very interesting. Mainly from the point of view that I looked at it very differently than the previous program due to intermediate schooling and, as a result, my own change.
If the last years program gave me width, this one game me depth.
I have become far gentler to myself during this program, which is why I also performed the exercises more easily.
In real life, I felt this change the most in terms of emotional maturity, that I am no longer ashamed to express my anger. To allow myself to be more in touch with her. So I use it several times in relationships if something is bothering me. I set boundaries much more decisively and clearly.
When I did these things according to last year’s program, I often encountered resistance from people. This year is a lot different, and people are taking me more seriously. Of course, there are those who do not respect boundaries, but I take this as a challenge or an opportunity for growth. On a physical level, I also feel the difference between anger and rage, in that when I am angry, I feel the energy in my chest cavity, but when I feel rage, the energy hits my head. The last time this happened to me was after a long time, and I consciously stopped and waited for the energy to slowly “flow” into the chest and expressed it with anger.
I feel the attitude of people towards me significantly more—their behavior and expression.
This means a lot to me because now I give significantly more time and attention to people and things that mean a lot to me. I am no longer chasing people who don’t return the energy. Although my subconscious regularly serves me such relationships. This way, I feel disrespect much faster, which is more on their subconscious level, but it shows up in the relationship on a conscious level so that they let me know by action that I am self-evident to them in various ways. After such a relationship, my body also feels that it does not feel as pleasant as in a relationship with someone who returns my energy. Initially, this realization of what kind of attitude people really have towards me made me angry and helpless. Now I am more at peace with it. I understand that a deeper relationship requires more time, more emotional maturity, and less SMA. And I can’t ask people to do that. I know for myself how difficult it is to improve in these areas.
Even though I still love them, I distance myself from them and thereby adjust the relationship to a more “shallow” level by giving them less energy myself. And there’s nothing wrong with that. This is how I make room for other things and people.
Instead of making this review even longer, I’ll just summarize things instead. I can hear, see, feel, understand and observe myself and others more.
Aleš, you have given me a lot with your method. Thank you.